Veterans Day is set aside for us to remember those who served in the Armed Forces of the United States. But for many of those who served in our wars, Veterans Day is every day. It’s not that they want to remember; it’s that they’re unable to forget.
At last weekend’s dedication of the replica Vietnam Wall Memorial in Punta Gorda, WGCU’s Michael Hirsh (himself a Vietnam veteran) asked a number of vets if their experience in a war that took place fifty years ago still impacts their lives.
Jim Louisgnan served with the army’s 17th Combat Aviation Group in 1967-68.
“It seems like it bothers me more all the time. It’s almost like a guilt thing, or something. It’s funny. I didn’t get hurt over there. He did. And all these people (on the wall). They were all people. They all have families. They all have brothers and sisters. Parents. And they all suffered so much. And I didn’t get hurt. It’s like a guilt thing. I should have been, it seems.”
Herb McCool was an army cook at Camp Eagle and Phu Bai between the end of 1967 to mid-69.
“I like to ask people “what were you doing when you turned twenty one? I turned 21, I was being shot at. I celebrated two birthdays over there. 21st and 22nd birthdays being shot at. People say you get over that. You never get over it. I heard the helicopters every day. Within a few seconds after takeoff, I could hear the M-60 machineguns going off. That’s how close the enemy was. At least we made it—lot of us made it home alive; lot of them came home in a cargo plane. We’re all here to pay our respects.”
Gene Kopec of Northport and Chicago was part of the 2nd Battalion 3rd Marines at Khe Sanh. The names of eight of his platoon members are on the wall.
“I still feel responsible because I set those gun positions because I felt we could do the most damage to oncoming enemy. It’s more guilt than anything. I mean, I sit here, I’ve been to this wall like five or six times already, and I go to panel 19-east. I pay my respects, but it just ain’t enough to give, you know they gave all. And I received a second and third Purple Heart at Khe Sahn,
“There is no way to deal with this. It eats at you, it eats at you. You know, waking up in the middle of the night with night flashes, or hearing it rain, or something like that. You can’t deal with it. It’s hard; I have no explanation how to deal with it. I really don’t. The VA’s way of looking at it is just medications and medications; they’re trying to put you in a stupor to get rid of it. But, it wears off, so what difference does it make.”
Jerry Cournoyer of Nokomis was a tactical air controller from 1963 to 1966.
“I try to remember nothing, really. Too many bad memories from there, really. Seeing friends get injured, get killed. I try to blank it out as much as possible. You will always live with that memory. Always.
“I know one thing; it was a losing battle. We went in there; we didn’t win. Just like the French before us. They didn’t win. It was an unending war, unwinnable war. That’s all I can say on that one.
“Been in counselling for many years. And still going to counselling. It relieves the time for a little bit. But then it only comes back. It only comes back. You never forget. Never forget, and it bothers you. Completely.”
Mike Gilbert of Port Charlotte served with an army armor unit in Quang Tri near the DMZ from 69-70. He was awarded the Silver Star for bravery.
“It never goes away. It’s probably tougher for our group, I think, Just about every war is tough. Everybody else had the opportunity to come home as heroes and we didn’t. That’s a hard one, and we had to take the black mark. We all went; did what we felt we were supposed to do, and we had to say, that’s the one we lost. And that was hard. It was very hard.
“You never stop thinking about it. And I think it’s really changed my view of war in general. I wouldn’t say I’m anti-war now, but I would have to say I think as a country we have to start questioning why we have been in seventy years of non-stop war. We can’t just keep going into these wars and doing this to our young men and women, and sending them home, and half of them are mentally affected seriously, and we really don’t know how to fix ’em. Sometimes I look back on it and think sometimes, that some of those that died were the lucky ones.”