The StoryCorps Mobile Tour returned to Fort Myers in February 2024 to record meaningful conversations with people about their lives.
Each Monday for the next several months, we’re highlighting some of the compelling stories from our fellow Southwest Florida residents.
In this installment, we hear Jen Hayes interview her mother, Sherry Hayes, about Sherry’s early childhood in foster care, the loss of Sherry’s adoptive mother at an early age, and the importance and power of forgiveness.
TRANSCRIPT:
JOHN DAVIS, HOST: Each Monday we’re featuring conversations recorded through the StoryCorps Mobile Tour stop in Fort Myers earlier this year.
Today we hear Jen Hayes interview her mother, Sherry Hayes, about Sherry’s early childhood in foster care, the loss of Sherry’s adoptive mother at an early age, and the importance and power of forgiveness.
JEN HAYES: Tell me about where you grew up and what it was like. I know it was a little different.
SHERRY HAYES: Everything was different. In the 1940s and '50s, my biological mother and biological father were not married, and I was born anyway, right? And they put me into what was a boarding home with Granny, who raised me.
JEN: Granny, not related.
SHERRY: Her name was Ethel, and I called her Granny. I mean, she was older. She was twice widowed. So, that's how she made her living; had a big house with lots of bedrooms, and she rented them out. And she also took in children, because at that time it wasn't strange for people to have kids and give them to someone else, you know, to raise for a while or temporarily or whatever.
JEN: Do you know when you realized you were living in foster care or that it was maybe different than your friends?
SHERRY: You know, when you grow up that way from an infant you don't know. Well, maybe it depends on who you're with, but Granny was so loving. She was just mother, father, best friend to me forever, and I felt so loved and so safe that I, you know, I, you know, your aunt and uncle wanted to adopt me, my biological father's brother and his wife. And when I was, like, 5 years old. This is right during kindergarten or whatever. And it was traumatic, because all I knew is somebody wanted to take me away from Granny. And I remember Granny being on the phone, talking to my biological mother, saying “She does not want to go,” and I'm screaming, jumping. “I don't want to go. Don’t take me away. Don't take me away.” I was a brat.
JEN: I think it's fine that you say what you want.
SHERRY: OK, but I didn't want to go. I was content and happy and safe.
JEN: So how did you end up there?
SHERRY: How did I end up…?
JEN: Getting adopted from…?
SHERRY: Now we're getting to the teary part. When Granny died… I can't tell this story without crying. I'm sorry. She was old by that time. I was 13. I was in eighth grade, the beginning of eighth grade, and I walked home from school one day, and our minister's car was parked there, and a car I didn't recognize, and it was your grandma and grandpa Roderick. And I walked in, and Granny was in bed, and they told me that Granny was sick and that she had to go to the hospital. Mother and Daddy told me, “We're going to take you to grandma and grandpa's, and they're going to take her to the hospital, and we promise you, when she's settled, we'll take you to see her in the morning.” And she called me over the bed, she gave, me she said, “Get me my purse.” And I gave her her purse, and she gave me a handful of coins. She said, “You take some money.” I held on to those coins until I was with your father, and then I made myself get rid of them. I said, “OK, I’m good now. I can have my own family.” Long story short, they did not take me back, and when I woke up the next morning, they called me upstairs in my grandparents' house, and they said, “We're sorry we told you we'd take you because we wanted to make it as easy as on you as possible to make the break, but we can't take you because she's very sick, and you can't go to the hospital, and it's just not a place where you need to be.” And of course, she died in the hospital, and then I get the story that her one daughter, Nell, that I was crazy about the grown daughter, and she had children, and I was friends with them; said we called and begged and begged and begged them to bring you to the hospital because she wanted you. She wanted to see you. And they said, “No, it's not good for her.” And I know that they meant that they were trying to do what they thought was right for me. It wasn't right, but, you know, they thought it was, and that's all that matters. God knows what's right.
JEN: Yeah,
SHERRY: So I've forgiven them.
JEN: How?
SHERRY: How? I know it's important. Love is all that matters, and forgiveness is part of loving and trying to understand. And when you try to understand things that hurt you deeply, you try to figure them out, and you try to see the good, and then try to understand.
JEN: One reason I wanted to have you here today is because I want you to know how strong I think you are because your life, I mean, you say you've been surrounded, and maybe that's it. Maybe that's what makes you strong, but I mean, you've been through stuff, a lot of stuff. And your motto, “Love is all that matters,” I don't know where you, how you got there.
SHERRY: Well, I get strength from you. And that probably sounds schloppy, but I do, and I'm so proud of you and all my children, and I'm kind of proud of our family.
JEN: Well, you should be. You're the head.
SHERRY: That's very sweet. This is a lovely gift. Thank you.
JEN: Thank you.
SHERRY: Just this time together.
Jen: Thanks for the time every day.
SHERRY: That's why we moved to Florida.
JEN: I know.
SHERRY: And that's why we lived 10 minutes from you.
JEN: I know. And it makes me so happy And I love you.
SHERRY: I love you too.
DAVIS: That was Sherry Hayes speaking with her daughter Jen Hayes.
Their conversation was recorded in Fort Myers through the StoryCorps mobile tour. This is WGCU News.
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