The StoryCorps Mobile Tour returned to Fort Myers in February and March 2024 to record meaningful conversations with people right here in Southwest Florida about their lives.
Each Monday, we’re highlighting some of the compelling stories from our fellow Southwest Florida residents.
In this installment we hear Siddharth Sridharan speaking with his wife Dharani Sridharan talk about how they met through an arranged marriage, their relationship, and building a life together in the U.S.
TRANSCRIPT:
SIDDHARTH SRIDHARAN: Ours is an interesting story. So, we had an arranged marriage, thanks to my father. He spent all the time looking for the perfect bride. So, you want to tell the story of how you messaged me first time?
DHARANI SRIDHARAN: When my mom had put up my profile on matrimonial.com, and the first profile that she pulled up was of Siddharth’s. And one of the interesting things that I noticed immediately was that he was living in the United States and that he had an engineering degree, and it was very, very similar to my family. So, for the very first time, I felt familiarity the moment I saw Siddharth profile. But two weeks go by, and I receive absolutely no call or message from Siddharth. So, I was like, “You know what? We are part of the newer generation. So, let me take the initiative and send in my first message.” I decided to email Sid, and my first sentence in the email was “Further to the conversation that our parents had with each other, this email is just to connect with you to see if we would be a good match.” And that is our very first email that we exchanged and we started talking to each other right after that particular email.
SIDDHARTH: I was very casual in my reply to her. I was like, “You know, I'm usually available on Saturdays, Sundays, and then I'm available on chat and WhatsApp.” And then we had our first conversation. Do you want to say what the first conversation was about?
DHARANI: One of our very early conversations was about Harry Potter. I was a huge, huge fan of Harry Potter back then, and so was Sid. And once again, going back to that first impression that I had of Siddharth, which was that familiarity, where it felt like he was very much like my family, I was able to relate immediately to Siddharth because I felt like he connected with me at a level where it also spoke about our similarity and hobbies and interests.
SIDDHARTH: Over the months we talked on and off. We met a couple of times before the marriage.
DHARANI: So, marrying Siddharth would mean that I had to pick up my entire life from India and move it to Cape Coral, Florida. And back then, my impression of America was “Friends.” So, (laughter) we were huge fans of the TV series, “Friends,” and I always imagined America to be New York. So, I didn't think twice then. I didn't think I was scared, and I was open and willing to move my entire life from India to the U.S. And I moved to the United States 10 days after I got married to Siddharth, which seems very scary now that I have a daughter. (laughter) I can't imagine she doing something similar. But we took the leap, I jumped in, and we decided to move in and to spend the rest of our lives together. What would you say was one of your biggest highlights in the last 10 years?
SIDDHARTH: There are many highlights. Our Europe trip comes to mind, and then our road trip to New Orleans, Swara’s, birth; They are all great moments. Every weekend, every few minutes that I get to spend with the three of you is a highlight. What about you, Dharani? What are your biggest highlights?
DHARANI: One of my biggest highlights was most definitely when we had our first child. We truly had quite a few challenges in our first birth. Our daughter, she was diagnosed with an SVT (Supraventricular tachycardia — a heart rhythm disorder) at 22 weeks, and what it did was it put a lot of stress and pressure on me to still be able to carry her for the rest of the term. I never felt alone in that whole process, because Siddharth was with me. And I think that whole experience really changed the way we approached our relationship too.
SIDDHARTH: What is one thing that you would change about how we are today?
DHARANI: I don't think I would change anything. My first 24 years of my life was filled with a lot of insecurities, where I constantly felt like I was never enough, and it put a lot of stress on me to do really well. One thing that I really appreciate about marrying Siddharth is he gave me a playing field. He never once said, “Do this. Don't do that.” He didn't really put together some sort of a framework and said, “This is what I expect my wife to do,” or “This is what I expect every woman, or Indian woman in America to do.” So, for the very first time, I experienced freedom in identity. I was able to explore what I could be. So, the only big struggle that we have right now is becoming permanent residents of this country. Siddharth is on an H-1b visa, on a work visa. He's a phenomenal professional in science and technology, doing some amazing work, but we have been on a work visa for close to now 15 years, with a green card application that has been sitting for the past 11 years now. It gets really hard because we have two kids who are American citizens, and we are still in the country legally, but on a visa for a very short period of time. One of the things that is constantly hanging over our head is that we want to be with our children, but we are constantly worried about not getting a visa and having to move back to India. That is definitely been one of our struggles with living in the U.S.
JOHN DAVIS, HOST: That was Dharani Sridharan speaking with her husband Siddharth Sridharan. Their conversation was recorded remotely through the StoryCorps Mobile Tour. This is WGCU News.
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