The StoryCorps Mobile Tour returned to Fort Myers in February 2024 to record meaningful conversations with people in Southwest Florida about their lives.
Each Monday for the next several months, we’re highlighting some of the compelling stories from our fellow residents.
In this installment, we hear Dr. John “J.D.” Coopman and his wife, Trudy Krintz-Coopman, talk about their stories of loss, love, gratitude, and finding each other after they’d both lost spouses of more than four decades, in the hope that sharing their stories will help others in similar situations.
TRANSCRIPT:
JOHN DAVIS, HOST: Each Monday we’re featuring conversations recorded through the StoryCorps Mobile Tour stop in Fort Myers earlier this year.
Today we hear Dr. John “J.T.” Coopman and his wife Trudy Krintz-Coopman talk about their stories of loss, love, gratitude, and finding each other after they’d both lost spouses of more than four decades.
JOHN COOPMAN: My wife got sick. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and so we fought that together. I was blessed with the opportunity to be at home with her and take care of her, and I vowed that I would be home every night, every day, regardless of where I was. A couple of milestones that we wanted to get through was our 40th wedding anniversary, which we were able to celebrate, and our daughter's wedding, which we were able to celebrate. Shortly thereafter, she did pass away. Nobody understands what it's like to be a widow until you've walked in those shoes. Walking in the door at night by yourself is just a horrible experience. I don't want anybody else to ever go through that. Trying to fix a meal for one: not fun. And so, it was just a terrible experience in my life. She told me, before she died, she said, “JT, I don’t want you to be by yourself and so if you find a good Christian woman, I hope you take that opportunity.” Well, fortunately, through Christian Mingle, I was able to find somebody, and God blessed me to be in her life for the rest of our lives. And so that's kind of the story that we wanted to tell, is there is life after becoming a widow, if you choose to do so, and I will be perfectly candid: Once I talked with her, once we met, I've never looked back. It was just an instantaneous thing, and it was God's blessing that we are together. Trudy, go ahead and tell your story.
TRUDY KRINTZ-COOPMAN: I was married to my first husband at the age of 18. We had three kids together. On December 10th, 2012, it was my birthday, and all of a sudden I heard this noise. My husband hadn't gotten up yet and walked into the bedroom and realized that he was in trouble. He said, “I can't breathe. I think I'm dying.” By noon, he was gone. It was quite a shock, something I never thought would happen in my life. But every day, I would write a letter to my husband in the journal just to tell him what I was doing, how many times I went to a ball game with the grandkids, or if the kids came over, or if I went to visit them. That same day, I would write a letter to God just to give me guidance. And my youngest son that lives close by as well, suggested that I sign up for Christian Mingle. And here I am in my late 60s, and I'm thinking “Seriously?” So, I had met a couple of guys and had lunch with them and so forth. And you know, you just move on thinking that “that's not the person in my life.” In my mind I was never going to get remarried again. So, Dr. J.T. Koopman came across on Christian Mingle. Our first date consisted of 35 exchange students and two host mothers, and we went to the Indianapolis Museum in Indiana. And from that day forward, we have been together. And my kids call him Bonus Grandpa; my grandkids do. And he is a bonus, not only to them, but to me,
JOHN: It's just been a blessing in my life to have her children and grandchildren as part of my life, and vice versa, my children and their children in her life. Something that I've tried to do since we've been together is since her husband died on her birthday, I always try to do something special for her. You know, whether it be a trip, we've taken cruises, we've taken trips.
TRUDY: We make each other laugh, and laughter is a healing part of being a widow. We talk about it. We talk about when we go to the grave site to put flowers on Susie's grave, we're there together. If we go to the grave site for my husband Jim, we go together. We're there to support each other, but we talk about his wife, we talk about my husband. We might have our past spouses in a dream, and we share that information with each other for support, but we we know where each one has come from. We know the steps that each of us have walked.
JOHN: We both walk that walk as widows. We know how each other feels. And so we can support each other in that manner, because we know what's going on, and if at some point in time, something spurs…
TRUDY: It might be a song.
JOHN: You know, and cry or whatever, and we support each other in that. I mean, it's part of our life, and it's certainly nothing to be ashamed of.
TRUDY: When you've been married 40 years and 45 and a half years, that's a long time together with one person, and we feel for each other for that part. We just hope that God gives us 20 years together. He'll probably make that…His longevity is longer than my family’s longevity, and we joke about that. You know, we don't know what tomorrow is going to bring for anyone.
JOHN: We've been blessed and continue to be blessed, and felt like that was a good story to tell, especially for people that may be
TRUDY: In our situation.
JOHN: In our situation. So, that's why we wanted to kind of share this
a little bit.
TRUDY: Thank you.
DAVIS: That was husband and wife Dr. John “J.T.” Coopman and Trudy Krintz-Coopman.
Their conversation was recorded in Fort Myers through the StoryCorps mobile tour. This is WGCU News.
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