Colten Brewer of the Chicago Cubs has had as rough a week as any politician. Last Saturday, the relief pitcher gave up three runs, hit a batter, and made a throwing error in a 7-0 loss to the Los Angeles Angels. He was taken out of the game, and punched the dugout wall. This time, his aim was perfect.
The pitcher broke his hand and is now on the 60-day injured list. And he joins the pantheon of improbable injuries that distinguish the Chicago Cubs in baseball history.
The Fall was when Cubs pitcher Steve Trout couldn’t start a game in 1985 after he tumbled off a stationary exercise bike—a stationary bike!—and hurt his elbow and shoulder.
The Kick occurred in 2004, when Kyle Farnsworth, another Cubs reliever, gave up six runs to lose a game and kicked an electric fan in the dugout. He sprained his knee doing it, and was out for a month.
The Sneeze also struck in 2004. Sammy Sosa, the Cubs home run champion, who has been accused of taking steroids, sneezed and somehow sprained a ligament in his lower back. He was out for two weeks. Gesundheit!
In 2005, The Finger. Reliever Mike Remlinger got his left pinky stuck between two recliner chairs in the clubhouse. He fractured a bone, and he was out for 15 days. Plenty of time to recline.
Kerry Wood, who once struck out 20 batters in a game, took The Spill when he slipped coming out of a hot tub in 2007. He landed on his chest and missed the first week of spring training.
There was The Hop in 2009, when pitcher Ryan Dempster hopped over a dugout railing to celebrate a win, but tripped on the railing and broke his big toe. He was out for a month.
And perhaps the most exotic excuse of all: The Chirp. Outfielder Jose Cardenal missed a spring training game in 1972 because he said crickets chirped all night in his hotel room, and kept him awake.
Brewer’s self-inflicted injury is being called “bone-headed,” and he sounded chagrined after the game.
"My intention wasn't to break my hand," he told reporters, which, by the way, I’m quite sure is true. “Emotions get the best of us sometimes."
Brewer may never make it into the Baseball Hall of Fame. But his name, or at least his knuckles, will be inscribed in the history of the game.
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