The most empowering lessons I have learned about myself, my life, and my future were learned during the Jim Crow era when I was labeled a “colored.” There were four types of lessons: denial, affirmation, protection, and character building.
The family, community, and school each reinforced the values we children should learn, as well as the expectations held for us.
Critical in helping us as “colored” children know our true identity were the “Denials:”
- “I am not tragically colored.”
- “I am not who the larger white society believes or says I am.”
- “I am not inferior to any race or group, culturally, intellectually, or morally.”
- “I am not the ‘other’ they claim I am, undeserving of respect, dignity, and equality.”
The “affirmations” confirmed our true identity:
- “I know who I am.”
- “I am a precious gift to my family and community.”
- “I am a member of a dynamic culture that provides for my well-being and joy.”
- “I am born with unique gifts and talents that I will use to better my community and fulfill my life purpose.”
It was also important that I learned “protective” lessons, especially in the Jim Crow era. There were Jim Crow laws for segregation that we were to obey. And there were Jim Crow customs or etiquette expected of us coloreds that served to enhance the identity and esteem of whites.
But it was character that colored children were expected to develop to the highest extent. “Character building” began in the family in what we called “home training.” Home training was the cultural vehicle by which values were transmitted to each new generation. We learned the social rules and norms that would guide our conduct as members of the community from childhood through adulthood. A child’s behavior was a demonstration of the quality of home training a colored child received. These lessons were there to build our character, teach us respect and proper manners. The core rules of home training were:
- Respect yourself.
- Respect your family.
- Respect the elderly.
Who I am today, my moral character, my ability to interact and form relationships with persons of cultures other than my own is the result of the “home training” or socialization I received as a colored girl.
"In my life, I have found myself as a colored, a negro, a Black, an African American, and a person of color. This is my reflection as a colored girl." This phrase opens each essay in the series “Reflections of a Colored Girl” from Martha R. Bireda, Ph.D. being aired on WGCU FM. Dr. Bireda is a writer, lecturer, and living history performer with over 30 years' experience as a lecturer, consultant and trainer for issues related to race, class, and gender, working with educators, law enforcement, and business, and civic leaders. She also is director of the Blanchard House Museum of African American History and Culture of Charlotte County, in Punta Gorda, Florida. Bireda was born in Southwest Florida in 1945 but spent the first 10 years of her life in a small town in Western Virginia. Her family then moved back to Punta Gorda, where they have deep roots. This is one essay in her series.
